Typical!

Back to November 2021, and the Manor Farm CC6 came around very fast. It seemed just days since we’d been walking the course talking about marshal points, although it had actually been weeks. It also felt very early to be getting out of bed, throwing on warm clothes and a Dryrobe and setting off into the frosty morning air. Truth to tell, it was early. We had to pick Sergio up on the way and we had to arrive at 8:15 for a pre race briefing. Still, I was quite excited at the prospect of getting a marshalling spot somewhere on the farm. Secretly, I was hoping to be near the alpacas.

We parked up in the special marshal car park, where a big gazebo had been set up along with some interesting looking boxes of cakes for later. As usual, there was a lot of talking. Maps were handed out, so we could help direct anyone who got lost. I was hoping it wouldn’t come to that. I might have walked the course, but I’m famous for getting lost, even when I do know where I’m going.

After a lot more talking, and some eyeing the boxes of cakes hungrily, we all split into groups and set off to find our marshal points. My group was marshalling the farm. So far, so good. One of the best parts about marshalling the farm was that it was at the beginning of the race. Our job would be over relatively quickly, leaving us free to have a coffee and maybe wander off to look at the church. I was really looking forward to seeing the church again. Then there were the alpacas.

Unfortunately, I was too slow off the mark and someone else got the alpaca spot. Still, I told myself, the pigs might be interesting to watch. I was too slow off the mark for them too, though. There were only three of us left by the time we walked along the very muddy track and places were running out. Kim and Nicole quickly bagged the gate at the end of the track while I was trying to extricate my boot from a particularly gloopy bit of mud. Now there was only me left.

The mud was thick and sticky and there was an acrid stench in the air. We were approaching the cowshed. If there was one bit of the farm I didn’t want to be marshalling at, it was near the cowshed. Of course, it was exactly the spot I got. I may have mentioned once or twice that I don’t much like cows. There is something sinister about them. There is also something extremely pongy about them when they’re all gathered in a large shed.

It was a while before the race was due to start so I gingerly skirted the cows and the stinky mud to chat with Kim and Nicole while we waited. To be honest, the cows didn’t look any more pleased to see me than I was them. They eyed me angrily as I plodded past. Maybe they thought I was going to steal the hay they were so intent on eating. Frankly, they didn’t seem all that bright. What they lacked in brains they made up for in stench. The hay didn’t seem to agree with their digestive systems. The results were evident and difficult to avoid. Commando wasn’t going to want to let me back in the car after the race if I wasn’t careful.

Before long the race started so we all had to go back into position at our gates. It wasn’t long before the first runners stampeded through the thick mud. There was a lot of skidding and flying mud. My main job was to shout encouragement and point them in the right direction. Commando was one of the tail walkers and by the time he appeared with the wonderful Annie, I’d almost got used to the cow smell . . . almost!

Now our marshalling work was over we were free to go off to the cafe and warm our cold hands with a cup of cocoa and a sausage sandwich. We had lots of time to kill after all and marshalling is hard work. The drink and the food were very welcome, as was the warmth. Once we’d finished eating and chatting, Kim and I decided to wander off to the church. Kim was quite excited because I’d told her all about the funeral byre, the old hymn books and the organ and what a serene place it was. I thought we might even have a look at some of the graves in the churchyard.

We might have done all that too, if the gate hadn’t been firmly locked. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. I’d missed out on the alpacas, I’d had to put up with the cows and now I couldn’t even visit the church. Typical!

So my morning didn’t turn out quite how I’d hoped, but the race went off without a hitch. No one got lost. There were no disasters and Annie finished the race with a great big grin on her face. There was even some cake left when we got back to the car park, so all in all, I don’t suppose I have any room for complaint.

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