a gloomy day with a sunny finish – First published 16 April 2013

Television, and in particular the news, is not something I watch most of the time. Of course, I’m not averse to an interesting nature programme or a good film, I even quite enjoy shows like CSI and NCIS because the detective process fascinates me. So, the first I heard of the Boston Marathon bombing in April 2013 was when Commando phoned me from work. With the Moonwalk a few weeks away and Commando’s first marathon that October it shook me to the core.

16 April 2013

Last night Commando rang me and asked me if I’d seen the news about the Boston Marathon. I thought he was going to tell me a runner had collapsed and died, which would, of course, have been a tragedy and something for me to worry about as he’s running his first marathon in October. Never could I have imagined the truth of what happened.

To say I was shocked and horrified would be an understatement. Right on the finish line two terrorist bombs exploded, killing and maiming runners and spectators alike. What is the point of that? How could any of those people be considered justifiable targets by anyone? Apparently this was all in the name of religion, or so It would seem at the moment. I have friends of all different religious persuasions, Christians, Jews, Sikhs and Muslims and I find it hard to believe their God would want innocent people killed in his name. I can’t understand what it is supposed to achieve? All it seems to do is generate hate and make life harder for ordinary, innocent followers of their faith. Surely religion is meant to be about love and kindness or have I missed something?

I can’t stop thinking about those poor people. All those months they trained, just as I am, to run twenty six point two miles. They were probably collecting money for charity, just like me. They pushed their bodies to the limit to run all that distance and then, right on the finish line, their world was torn apart. Watching the footage, a runner falling as if shot, just steps from crossing the line. Confusion, terror, people bleeding, shocked, horrified. How did they deserve that? My thoughts are with all those involved and their families.

Today seemed like a gloomy kind of day when I sat watching the news this morning. Of course it was dominated by the events in Boston yesterday and everything seemed very bleak to me somehow. I spend a lot of my time trying to see the good in the world and things like this make me wonder if that makes me delusional. There seems so little good and so much evil. So I watched the news when I should have been getting ready and then I was late leaving for work. For the sake of time I got the bus.

There was a post on Facebook from one of my old Mad House colleagues, Sue. She has an illness hardly anyone has heard of called Charlotte Marie Tooth, or CMT for short. Despite the name, it’s not a dental problem. It’s actually a genetically inherited disorder of the nervous system where muscle tissue and touch sensation are slowly lost. It’s a devastating illness and incurable. Sue’s condition deteriorated badly when she worked at Mad House and I often used to help her out, carrying stuff for her, that kind of thing, she used to call me her Helper Monkey. Anyhow, there were a group of runners from the CMT foundation running in the Boston marathon and no one was sure if they were caught up in the bombing or not. These were people raising money for such a worthy cause, like so many others there yesterday, and now no one knew if they were alive or dead. It made me want to cry.

The weather was warmer than it has been but still fairly dull which didn’t lift my mood. Getting the bus did at least mean a walk through the park and a visit to the little rhododendron. The fat bud is even fatter now, deep pink petals almost bursting out of it even though the leaves are browned and scorched by frost and icy wind. It won’t be long before there’s another flower, yet all the other rhododendrons in the park show no signs of flowering yet. The path and the grass were pink with fallen magnolia petals and I stopped at the end to take a photo. Just as I clicked the camera a magpie swooped down on the grass, I guess he wanted his photo taken. A little further on the big old horse chestnut on the corner actually has the beginnings of leaves. It almost felt like spring.

My inbox was bursting as usual for a Tuesday morning but, unusually, about ten of them were from Arabella. This meant masses to do, emails to send, problems to solve, not least one with the films. The DVD’s sent for film night turned out to be in the wrong format. I went back to my lovely American friend at SWANK and she promised to send replacements. There had been a third DVD but, as far as I could tell it wasn’t in the box with the others or on the packing slip so I’d assumed it wasn’t available. I asked her if there was any chance she could put it in with the replacements.

The reply I got was not exactly what I was expecting. The third DVD had been delivered separately last Monday and it had been signed for by someone in the office. If that was the case, where was it? The person who’d signed for it was actually now on board the ship so I sent him an email asking him if he’d maybe taken it with him and forgotten to tell me. He came back to say he’d given it to another colleague, not in the office today. Why is nothing ever simple?

It was almost two before I realised I’d not had any lunch and, looking outside, there was sun so I decided to go out for a little walk, I even risked leaving my coat in the office for the first time this year. Because I had so much to do I didn’t go far, just a quick trot round the block and back to work but it was nice to have some sun on my face and I spotted a ladybird sunning itself on the bench outside the office and watched her for a while.

There was no news on the missing film so I fired off another email to the ship to ask if anyone had any idea where it was but no one came back to me. The afternoon also passed in a flash of trying to get everything done, especially as Araballa had said she was going to ring before five thirty and I wanted to have answers to all her questions. At five she rang, we went through a few things but as she didn’t want to keep me late she said she’d call tomorrow. Just before she went, I mentioned the missing film.
“That one was there and it’s in the correct format,” she said. Finally, someone who knows what’s going on!

When I left work the sun was still out. The birds were singing. I decided to walk over the New Bridge because I’ve not walked that way for a while. It was still quite warm and I walked with my coat unzipped. The water looked blue with the sky reflected in it and all the little boats made me think of holidays. For the first time today the dull edge of gloom lifted from me. On the other side of the bridge, walking past the little flats I could hear the sound of plates being stacked away through a kitchen window thrown open to let the sun in. I’d never thought of that as the sound of spring before but now I think, perhaps it’s one of them. The birds singing was another sound of spring and the seagulls bickering amongst themselves.

I took the woodland path and, for once, there was no mud. In a garden on the other side of the woods there was a magnolia in flower, they seem to be everywhere right now and further on a camellia, white petals splashed with red. Another garden had a drift of white alyssum, my own alyssum doesn’t even have buds yet but they’re in a shady spot. Maybe soon. A bee was buzzing around them but he didn’t stay still long enough for a photo. There were also squills alongside a fence, their white petals, striped with green seemed to glow in the sunlight.

When I got in the first thing I did was check Facebook to see if there was any news on the CMT runners. Thankfully it sounds as if they are all accounted for. I may not know any of them personally but I’m so pleased that a group of people who gave up so much time and effort to raise money for such a worthy cause didn’t end up paying a terrible price for their kindness. Sadly, others did.

Then a blogger in New Hampshire reminded me that light will always triumph over darkness and, if we don’t see the good in the world, we’re just not looking hard enough. He shared a post with me, written by someone who was at the Boston Marathon and, rather than a horror story it turned out to be a story of human kindness and hope. It’s well worth a read so please follow this link, you won’t be sorry.

So the day started in gloomy thoughts and with gloomy weather and ended with flowers, spring and good news. My thoughts went back to the little rhododendron, not the prettiest of all the flowers I saw today but perhaps it’s one with a message for me. The leaves may be brown and the plant, as a whole, may not be much to look at but against all the odds it just keeps going on and on, despite everything Mother Nature throws at it. One little spot of beauty hidden amongst the dried up grubby looking leaves.