In September 2012 we turned into curtain twitching nosy neighbours when the police camped out in front of the house across the road for three days. It felt as if we were under surveillance and we had no idea what was going on. At the same time the slightly scatty but nice neighbour who lived there seemed to have disappeared and, after a spate of burglaries in the area, we were worried about her. When we found out what was really going on we were stunned and horrified.
Yesterday we heard the worrying news that a man in his twenties from our village had been arrested in connection with a local murder. This was shocking to say the least. It’s bad enough to have a murder locally without a lad from our village being arrested for it. With the police sitting outside Bronwen’s house the alarm bells began to ring but we couldn’t really believe the two things were connected, after all, if they’d arrested someone, why would they still be sitting outside the house? There just doesn’t seem to be any logical explanation.
Bronwen’s son was the same age as that given in the news but he always seemed a very shy, quiet boy. Bronwen once told me he had some kind of allergy to sun light (not that too much sun is generally a problem in the UK), so we hardly ever see him. We weren’t even sure he still lived at home. Because of the allergy, as a child he never really played outside with our boys the others who used to spend half their lives kicking a football around or messing around on the hill with go karts. I always felt a bit sorry for him missing out on all the fun and the mischief young boys get up to.
It felt as if we’d had quite enough excitement in our quiet little corner of Southampton. With the murder last month just down the road in Ocean Village, the burglary across the road the other week and then police sitting outside it feels more like a seedy area of the capital than a sleepy little crescent, largely populated by young families and elderly couples who’ve lived here all their lives. At least we stopped worrying about someone breaking in while the police are sitting outside. It would have been a very stupid burglar who tried that.
Today we found out that the young lad arrested and charged with murder really was Bronwen’s son. This was a very shocking development. My first thought was for Bronwen and the family of the victim. I also thought about the lad himself and, if he has done this, how one monumentally stupid decision has ruined his whole life and the lives of those around him. It’s a terrible tragedy for all those involved.
Even sadder was the local reaction. Suddenly everyone was very quick to condemn and fairly vocally too. None of us can know what the circumstances were, what really happened or even if the lad is guilty or not. In this country I believe a person is supposed to be presumed innocent until proven guilty, although it rarely seems to be the case in actual fact. I have sons of a similar age and I’m just thankful I was not the one hearing that terrible news over the weekend. It has certainly got me thinking about people’s attitudes though and how easily people judge one another.
I’ve always believed that, if you can’t say something nice about someone, you shouldn’t say anything at all. Sadly, others don’t always feel the same and all too often we hear people making judgements on others based on nothing more than hearsay or an uninformed perception. For instance, when you’re overweight people will judge you. Overweight equals greedy and lazy in the eyes of a lot of people and they’re often quite vocal in their opinions.
Never mind that the person in question may be going to the gym regularly and cutting back their food in order to lose weight and get healthy. They may well be doing more exercise and have a healthier diet that the person judging them. They may also have any number of reasons for their weight. After all we don’t all go around with a sign on our chests saying, ‘I have polycystic ovaries and this makes me fat,’ ‘I’m not anorexic, I have an overactive thyroid,’ or similar. We shouldn’t have to feel we need to keep apologising for our appearance but, sadly, I think we often do. Maybe a sign wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all.
In this case, people seem to have tried and convicted the lad with no information whatsoever. Worse still, they seem to have done the same for his poor mother. I can’t even begin to imagine how she must be feeling and I wonder how she will cope when she finally comes back home and has to face the music for something she is probably as shocked and horrified over as we all are.
What a very sad event, so many lives ruined.
Very true Susan. It was terribly shocking for everyone, especially as we had known the lad most of his life, if not very well.
People really can be cruel. I don’t know if they do it without thinking or if they put effort into it.
I think it’s a bit of both. Poor Bronwen sold her house and moved away after her son went to prison. So very sad that the community didn’t offer her more support.