meet me at Borough Market – first published 17 November 2012

17 November 2012

Yesterday I was housebound, waiting for the oven delivery. It was grey and foggy outside, as shown by a photo Commando Junior took from the Big Bridge, so being stuck inside was no great hardship. The oven finally arrived at half past eleven. The  delivery men probably thought I was a nutcase, I was so happy to see them. So I have a new oven. Granted it’s sitting in my gym right now but at least it’s in the house. The rest of the day was a mammoth cooking fest, leaving me free to have some fun in London today with the WLR girls.

The train was late into Waterloo and, after a loo stop costing thirty pence, which is seriously taking the p, I went off to get my underground ticket. The queue was horrendous and, as I got near the front, I was more than a little concerned to see a bag sitting alongside the ticket machine with no one anywhere near it. All those announcements about unattended bags came into my head and I wondered if I should leave the queue and tell someone, or maybe just get out of there fast.

Just then a woman shouted out, “Excuse me, whose bag is this?” A middle aged man dithering over the ticket machine turned around and looked at her, then looked at the bag, shrugged and picked it up. He said something I didn’t quite catch in what sounded suspiciously like French, picked up his tickets and strolled off, totally unaware of the alarm he’d caused.

After all that there was a long wait for the train. Normally underground trains are pretty much back to back so everyone was looking at each other as if to say, ‘what’s going on?’ Eventually, just as the train arrived, there was a rather cryptic announcement about track problems at London Bridge. “Does that mean this train won’t stop at London Bridge because that’s were I’m going?” a woman asked me.
“I don’t know but I’m going there too,” I said.
Other people were muttering the same thing. In the end we all got on and crossed our fingers. There was a collective sigh of relief when the train did stop at London Bridge. If I knew London better I’ve a feeling I could have walked from Waterloo in half the time it took on the underground, even without the queue at the ticket office.

Luckily, the underground station is right outside Borough Market. After the journey I’d had the last thing I needed was to have to wander round searching for it. Within a few minutes, I could see three familiar faces in the crowd. It was great to see Mr Bumble and Mel C again and to finally meet Ally. After a round of hugs and a bit of chatting we set off to go around the market.

Wow what a market! It’s a nightmare for anyone trying to lose weight because every corner you turn someone is waving a sample of something delicious in your face. The first stall we came to was an authentic Turkish Delight stall. Of course, in the spirit of research, I had to try my favourite pistachio one just to see if it really was as good as it is in Turkey. It was just as I remember it and transported me straight back to the foyer of the Rixos Premium where the blonde belly dancers stand all day handing it out as you pass through. There was every flavour imaginable and I could have stood there all day sampling them all but Mr Bumble was intent in finding the ice cream so I dragged myself away and off we went.

Temptation wasn’t far away. We walked straight on to a stall selling all kinds of mouthwatering sweets and dried fruits. The yogurt coated raspberry I tried was so huge and delicious it blew my fruit flakes right out of the water. Each one had a whole dried raspberry inside. There were chocolate coated and yogurt coated versions of everything you could think of plus dates, figs and nuts of every kind. Honestly, I was almost dribbling just looking at them.

The next stall was filled with mushrooms, some so huge one would have been a meal in itself. They smelled amazing. Then there were the pastries, cheesecakes and tortes. Sadly there were no samples but I almost bought the German Cheese and Fruit Slice just to see what it was like. There were huge pretzels, croissants, tortes and cakes. The smell of bread and chocolate was almost overwhelming. I think Mel C bought some Eccles cakes but I could be mistaken, I was so transfixed by a mountain of chocolate brownies I think I went into a trance for a moment.

Walking away was no escape because, round the next corner, was the most tempting stall of all. Truffles and huge slabs of chocolate. There were even strawberry and balsamic vinegar truffles. I’m a truffle aficionado but I’ve never seen those before. We asked the girl behind the counter how she could stand all that chocolate in front of her all day without eating it?
“You get fed up with it after a while,” she said.
Who could get fed up with chocolate? If I worked there I’d be the size of a small planet and the big slab of dark chocolate would certainly have teeth marks in it.

Ally got into an in depth conversation with her about the chocolate she used to make the truffles and the rest of us had to walk away before one of us lunged over the counter and tried to make off with one of the giant chocolate hunks or a tray of truffles. Just breathing I was probably inhaling enough calories for a whole meal and I swear I could feel my double chin growing.

Next we were on to something a little more healthy, fruit and veg. I couldn’t believe the purple and green cauliflowers. There was some humongous Swiss chard too. Then there was bread, another smell that had the mouth watering, I sampled a chunk of baguette that tasted just like it had been baked in a little boulangerie on a Norman back street. Right next to that was a mountain of chocolate brownies and more croissants, eclairs and pastries than in any self respecting patisserie. Then there were the cheeses, we had a little sample of those too.

The taramasalata sample from the Greek stall was devine. Then we found a mind boggling array of jams, mustards and pickles. Ally tried Scotch Bomnett jam and said it was amazing so, with some trepidation, I gave it a go. It was wonderful, hot but not enough to blow your head off. I had to buy some. I can see lots of ways I could use it. Recipes were racing through my head as the chilli burst in my mouth. Finally we found the ice cream stall but it was closed. Poor Mr Bumble she’d been looking forward to it all day.

By now, despite all the samples, we were hungry, so we set off to get a proper meal. The eating area was crowded. We thought it was going to take hours to get to the front of the queue, all the while being tortured by the delicious aroma all around us. Within seconds though someone had come to take our order and our money and in return we got a ticket. This meant the queue moved super fast and in no time at all we were handing over our tickets and picking up our food.

I plumped for a wrap, thinking it would be a healthy choice. As it was being prepared it soon became obvious it was it was a Man V Food sized portion, so big I was seriously worried I’d be able to lift it. There was lettuce, freshly flame grilled chicken, olives, masses of onions, Greek yogurt, and every kind of salad you could imagine. It was honestly the size of a large house brick.

The talk around the table revolved around the Moonwalk. All four of us are signed up and we swapped training stories. Mr Bumble, being a veteran of more marathons and Ultra marathons than the food samples I’d just tried was a wealth of information. All the while I tried to tackle my giant wrap. Picking it up didn’t work all that well, the juices were dripping everywhere. In the end I resorted to a fork and managed to eat one half and most of the chicken out of the second half. After that I had to concede defeat.

We spent a good hour or more sitting chatting after that. I won’t bore you with the details but there was a great deal of laughing. Then we had a second go at the market. I bought some fabulous flavoured sea salts and a massive rum ball. Well there had to be some chocolate purchased at some point didn’t there?

By four o’clock we were all marketed out so we set off for Waterloo. With a little time to spare we stopped at Carluccio’s for coffee. The service was amazing, not only did they bring our coffees quickly and with a smile but the lovely lady also took photos for us with all of our phones. After a day more or less resisting temptation the sight of all their cakes was a step too far. I had a giant chocolate brownie topped with hazelnuts, Ally had a chocolate torte, Mel had an array of biscuits and Mr Bumble finally got her ice cream.

All too soon it was time to say goodbye to the WLR girls. When we next meet it will probably be the day of the Moonwalk and I doubt there will be much chocolate involved.