In early June 2013 CJ accidentally got a taste of homelessness and almost frightened me out of my wits. There was a worrying development on the river path and I seemed to have chocolate on the brain. The latter is probably quite normal. I also discovered that irritating survival expert and TV personality, Bear Grylls, has his uses.
10 June 2013
Two day weekends are way too short, fact. Monday morning came round way too fast. It isn’t the working five days in a row I find difficult it’s the shortness of the gap between those five days. So this morning when the alarm went off I wasn’t exactly ecstatic about the prospect of a new day, well not one starting quite so early anyway. There was also a bit of a puzzle when I got down to the kitchen.
Last night CJ was out when I made dinner and, in time honoured tradition, I dished his mini roast up and left it for him to microwave when he got in. The getting in thing didn’t happen before we went to bed but there was nothing particularly unusual about that. This morning I was quite surprised to see the mini roast still untouched on the kitchen worktop. Strange.
Shortly after I got out of the shower, when I was ironing a dress for work (yes you did read that right I said ironing, it doesn’t happen often but this particular dress needs ironing ok) standing there in a pair of leggings and my bra, there was a knock at the gym door. It was CJ. He wasn’t best pleased at my state of undress but I guess no young man likes the sight of his mother in her undies. It could have been worse! Turns out he’d forgotten his key last night and, when hammering on the front door failed to wake us, gave up and slept on the lounger. Good job we bought those then. Actually, he was rather more chirpy than the normal early morning grumpy CJ, nothing like a taste of homelessness to make you appreciate home comforts. Either that or he was still in shock from seeing me semi naked.
On my way along the riverside path something strange and worrying caught my eye. One of the big old trees right on the water’s edge has some rather serious damage to its bark. This is obviously quite recent and I actually left the path to have a closer look. I wondered if it was vandalism, especially as I could see no evidence of animal teeth or claw marks. After an extensive Googling session, I have found that squirrels and deer can sometimes strip the bark on trees and lightning strikes have also been known to remove bark. We did have thunder storms the other day and both squirrels and deer (surprising I know in such a populated area but I have it on good authority) are known to frequent this little area. I really do hope it wasn’t people and that the poor tree will survive.*
On a lighter note, the first flowers are appearing on the blackberries. I really will have to come along here with a basket once the berries start to ripen, maybe I could make some more jam. There are also bunches of buds on what I think is Viburnum (possibly Davidii). This little area between the gate to the woodland path and the bridge used to be allotments during World War II so I think this would be something purposely planted and gone wild rather than something naturally occurring.
When I reached the path behind the flats which is the final stretch before the bridge I almost laughed out loud to see a duck standing on the wall on one leg then, spinning round and marching, just like a soldier, along the wall. At any moment I thought he was going to stop me and ask to see my passport. He didn’t though and I made it onto the bridge unchallenged. Here the whitebeam flowers that provided such a show are mostly finished, I will watch with interest as the berries begin to form, they’ll be a treat for the birds, maybe the duck was guarding them.
There were dog roses and mallow flowers growing against a wall as I passed through the industrial estate. It never ceases to amaze me the sheer volume of different wildflowers that mange to grow and prosper along here and it does go to show that, even in the most industrialised places, you will see beauty if you just open your eyes. Somthing else that never ceases to amaze me is how my mind turns to food, as soon as I saw the mallow flowers I started thinking about chocolate. Why you may ask? Well although the wild mallow plant I saw was English mallow or malva and not at all connected with althaea officinalis or marsh mallow, I couln’t help but think of lovely little marshmallows and of course they were floating on top of a big mug of cocoa.
It may seem like a very loose connection and proof that my mind works in strange ways but it’s not such a stretch from one to the other as you might think. Fluffy sugary marshmallows originated from a medicinal concoction made from the root of the marsh mallow plant. It was used to ease a sore throat by the ancient Egyptians and, over time, the recipe evolved. It was the French (clever people) who added meringue to the mix and began to use rose water as a flavouring. Sadly modern day marshmallows have no medicinal properties whatsoever and no marsh mallow either. Still they’re very nice floated on top of cocoa.
As soon as I walked into the office I got a chorus of, “systems are down,” from everyone which was a bit annoying. Not the chorus, the systems being down. In the end though it turned out to be a blessing in disguise as, rather than wading into the email mountain I had no choice but to go through my to do list and create a priority list. Getting organised first thing on a Monday morning set the tone for the day and, once the systems were back up, I was able to get quite a few things ticked off quite quickly.
Alice was ensconced on the mezanine all afternoon stuffing envelopes for her mailing. Due to circumstances beyond her control (systems) she was running behind and there was a last minute panic to get everything franked and downstairs in time for the post. Rose and I came to the rescue in a synchronised team franking and putting in sacks marathon while Alice stuffed the last few envelopes. Actually it was quite good fun. We got into quite a rhythm and, as Rose pointed out, the pick up turn round run through the franking machine action was quite good exercise, as was the catch from franking machine turn and put in sack action. We both got quite hot.
Gail and I walked home together again over the New Bridge which added to the day’s exercise tally and possibly worked off some of the chocolate coated coffee beans I ate this morning. They are just so easy to eat, I really need to be more mindful and possibly not buy any more. Why do the good things have to be so bad? No matter how many times I tell myself coffee is a bean and chocolate is made from a bean so they’re almost one of my five a day it won’t make them any less calories and it won’t help me get back on track weight wise.
An unexpected boost to my weight loss plans came this evening while I was enjoying my red Thai curry. CJ was watching a Bear Grylls programme on TV. Unfortunately, this meant I was too, or at least I was trying not to. For anyone who, by reason of country or sanity has never heard of or watched Mr Grills (surely that isn’t his real name?) he is a British adventurer, writer and television presenter, at least that’s what Wikipedia says. What he actually does is wander off into wild, inexcessible places and show everyone how good he is at surviving.
Anyway, it turns out that Mr Grylls is a great diet tool. Actually the word diet is optional in that sentence but still. He’s a kind of cross between Australia’s late Steve Irwin and the lovely gentle Ray Mears. Ray Mears (Wikipedia entry, English woodsman, instructor, author and TV presenter) also wanders off into wild inexcessible places and shows everyone how good he is at surviving. Here the similarity ends. Bear likes to jump off things, abseail down things using flimsy ropes constructed from vines (Tarzan eat your heart out) and take as many risks as possible in the process. He has also been known to drink his own urine live on TV on a tediously regular basis. Something else he does is catch or find the most unpalatable food imaginable and eat it, preferably while it’s still moving or at least raw. I often wonder why he bothers to build fires, he never seems to cook anything on them.
Ray on the other hand strolls about gently, fishing, making fires in novel ways, carving lovely tools from bits of tree and explaining which plants are edible and how to cook them up into a nice casserole. He’s knowledgeable and interesting. I have never seen him naked (probably a good thing) unlke Mr Grylls who likes to strip off to show off his toned abs. Ray has also never put me off my food which brings me nicely back to my point (there is one really).
There I was enjoying my curry and there was Bear with a huge dead bison. The bison had been dead for some time. Lots of flies were buzzing around. This did not deter our Bear, oh no, he explained how the meat might be rotten but there was one bit of the bison that was still edible. He then proceeded to slice into the thing at which point a billion maggots and other unspeakable things tumbled out. Suddenly my curry (especially the rice) did not seem quite as nice. It was too late to turn away, I couldn’t unsee it and I couldn’t eat the rest of my dinner either.
This was probably a good thing although it did lead to hunger later in the evening. This in turn lead to the Belgian chocolate and salted caramel ice cream that unaccountably fell into my shopping basket in Sainsburys on Sunday afternoon. The only saving grace being the ice cream was so solidly frozen I gave up trying to dig it out of the tub when the portion was still of a very modest size, thus saving unnecessary calories. I blame Bear Grylls and he is now banned in this house!
*For anyone who was worried, the tree survived and is still growing along the river path.
Poor old CJ! First locked out and then having to see his mum in her undies! Child abuse. 🙂
And I’m glad I’m not the only one who finds Bear Grylls supremely irritating. I try to like him. He’s good looking, an adventurer, a man who likes the wild countryside – but I wouldn’t want to spend a day with him. Ray Mears, on the other hand… lovely man.
CJ has completely recovered and has not locked himself out since. As for Bear Gryls, I can’t help watching his shows (when forced) and hoping one of his stupid risky stunts goes wrong, even though it’s bad karma. As for Ray Mears, I’d take him on a hike any day. I bet he’d be a really interesting walking companion.