Celebration time – first published 20 july 2012

July 2012 was coming to a end and, along with it, my time at Mad House. So far I’d had three interviews for two jobs but I’d still not been offered one. My nerves were stretched tighter than an over tightened guitar string and the prospect of unemployment loomed.

20 July 2012

Today I have good news and bad news. The good news is very, very good and the bad is just a little disappointing. Firstly I have to own up to catching the bus to work even though the sun was shining brightly and I had my sunglasses on. My only excuse is that I didn’t sleep very well, couldn’t get myself going and was therefore running late. The reason I couldn’t sleep was that I’d expected to hear about The Dream Job yesterday and I didn’t. I took that to mean that I’d probably not got it. Not only was I heartbroken at the thought but I was worried about my looming redundancy date, the prospect of having to face the Department of Work and Pensions to beg for money and a never ending round of applications and interviews stretching before me.

On top of all that I was very concerned about Commando and Commando Senior who are rightly both still reeling from the loss of my dear Mother In Law at the end of June. It is not a valid excuse I know and I really should have walked. It would probably have made me feel better.

The day was not improved by a series of horrible calls. One, an old lady, rather deaf, appeared to be calling with her pet budgie perched on her shoulder. I guess, as she couldn’t hear, the piercing squawks didn’t bother her too much but coming through my head set directly into my ear they were giving me a headache, as was the sound of my own voice shouting down the phone in an effort to make her understand what I was saying. Still, everyone else in the office thought it was funny.

Another gentleman could not seem to understand why I couldn’t take a payment from him on someone else’s credit card. I explained it’s illegal to take a payment if the card owner isn’t present to give authorisation, to which he replied “But he’s my flat mate.” I told him I still couldn’t take the payment so he said “He’s my best mate,” as if that made any difference. Yet again I said I couldn’t take the payment unless his friend was there. “Can’t you do it just this once’” he asked. I said no. “I could just say I was him couldn’t I? How would you know I wasn’t?” What I wanted to say was, “because you’ve already told me who you are and that he’s not there you idiot and what part of I am not going to take the payment don’t you understand?” Of course I didn’t. I am pretty certain he will have called back later and pretended to be his ‘friend.’

When lunchtime arrived I discovered I had left my lovely home made crust less quiche with blue cheese and salad, fresh from the garden, at home in the fridge. I finish earlier on Fridays and only have half an hour for lunch so, by the time I’d queued up for a sandwich, I hardly had time to eat it. I went back to my desk feeling vaguely sick and very despondent.

I was in the middle of a call when my email notification popped up in the corner of the screen. I could see the message was titled, ‘Re Job Offer,’ and the sender was Arabella Bouvier. My heart stood still and I stopped speaking in mid sentence. I had to cover it up by pretending my system had crashed. I don’t even remember the rest of the call. Arabella is the Senior Manager Of Silver Helm**, the cruise company I interviewed with last Monday, The Dream Job I was so excited and nervous about.

After a nail biting forty five minutes of playing telephone tag I finally got to speak to her and guess what? She wants me to be her PA! If you heard some loud squealing at around four thirty, that was me jumping around the office like a mad thing. Even the deaf woman and her budgie probably heard it and she lives in Leeds.

Now it’s confession time. I bought a packet of Maltesers on the way home to celebrate, telling myself that they are ‘the lighter way to enjoy chocolate,’ and I deserved a treat. Unfortunately, one thing led to another, I won’t go into detail but I’ll just say that that one little taste of chocolate set off a carb and chocolate binge of epic proportions. Commando is at work until late tonight but he has put a bottle of champagne in the fridge for us to open when he gets home. You all know I’m not going to say no to that don’t you?

Oh well, I guess it’ll be another long walk for me tomorrow then and probably a horrible come down from cloud nine when I step on the scales on Monday. I know my sins will catch up with me, they always do.

** don’t go trying to Google it, I made the name up. Don’t want to lose the job before I even start for blogging about it now do I? Arabella Bouvier doesn’t exist either before you ask. The job does though and it is a very prestigious cruise company! That’s all I’m saying.