Canada, different but mostly in a good way

After I left America I wrote about the differences I noticed between the States and England. In Canada, I expected to find something a little more like home, Canada is a commonwealth country after all, so you’d think it would be a lot more like England, right? They have our Queen as their head of state and her head on their money, even if they do drive on the wrong side of the road and measure everything in kilometres and centimetres. As it turns out, not so much but it isn’t like America either. So what were the differences I noticed between Canada and England?

• Canadians are super polite and helpful. It’s possible that all grumpy Canadians are locked in cupboards somewhere.
• If you get lost you don’t have to worry, someone will come up and ask if you need any help and even take you where you need to be. When this happens they are not trying to kidknap you.
• There are a LOT of lakes, everywhere. Some of them are so big they look more like seas.
• It gets very cold, even in early autumn but no one seems at all phased by this.
• Walking in the woods isn’t considered weird and when you meet other walkers they all say “beautiful morning.”

• The squirrels are black and they’re everywhere.

• There really are bears in the woods but Canadians don’t seem at all worried about it.
• Canadians sound like Americans but not quite.
• Signs are written in French and English.
• The motorways are called highways and have numbers instead of names. They’re very wide and long.
• No one thinks anything of driving for two hours to get somewhere and everything is a long way off.
• Drivers are very considerate and always let you in. If you make a mistake they just smile and shrug instead of swearing and trying to kill you.
• The traffic lights and crossings work like America and you can go through a red light if you’re turning left but cars always stop and wait patiently for pedestrians to cross. Even if you cross against the lights cars will stop and wait and no one swears or shakes their fist.
• There are signs on the streets telling you what the temperature is in farenheight and centigrade. Anything above zero centigrade is considered warm.
• No one seems concerned when it snows or makes a big fuss about it. Six feet of snow doesn’t cause chaos. They take it in their stride and get out the snow mobiles, snow chains, yak trax or snow shoes.
• Autumn is called fall and it is so colourful you need sunglasses.
• There are some pretty weird fungi.

• Toronto has lots of skyscrapers but it seems less crowded than New York.

• The shops stay open really late.
• Fast food chain Tim Hortons is a national institution. There are more Tim Hortons than there are McDonalds in England. In the city there’s one on every street corner.

• Highway service stations are called onroute’s and they all have a Tim Hortons.
• Toronto has more Starbucks than New York. They give you a takeaway cup even if you’re drinking in and you have to get the lid yourself. The lids are all kept next to the sugar in racks labelled by cup size but none of the lids fits the cup you expect. They also have little green doodads to stick in the hole if you really are taking it away.
• Men on leaf blowers drive around the streets clearing the leaves. Presumably they also clear the snow.
• There is no litter.
• There is no dog poop.
• There are litter bins everywhere and most have several recycling bins. This can lead to confusion and a lot of standing around head scratching.
• Everyone is very laid back.
• It feels very safe but there are hardly any policemen about.
• Perfect strangers greet you like an old friend and will offer you food.
• In Toronto there are lots of homeless people. Mostly they sleep on the subway vents in the middle of the street and no one takes any notice of them at all. In winter they probably freeze to death.
• The air is really clean, even in the city.
• They disguise their mobile phone masts as trees.

• Free internet is normal in hotels and public buildings.
• Petrol is called gas and there are lots of different types. This is also confusing, leading to a lot of standing around head scratching.
• Maple syrup is a national institution, it’s cheap and it’s everywhere
• They have lots of fire hydrants.
• They have double decker trains.

• Canadians are big on preserving their history and they put up handy signs so you know what you’re looking at.
• Taxis are orange and green.
• Canadians like public art, all the graffiti is good and they don’t seem to do tagging.
• Canadians take baseball and ice hockey very seriously but no one gets violent when their team loses.
• There are no drunks on the streets.
• You don’t hear people swearing on the streets.
• They measure distance and speed in kilometres and the speed signs on the highways are small and not all the same colour or shape so it isn’t always easy to know how fast you should be going.
• The food is good and the portion sizes are bigger than England but smaller than America.
• There are lots of tall figures made of plied stones called Inukshuk. Apparently the Inuit built most of them to say someone was here or you’re on the right path and the Canadians have just kept on building them.

• Bank notes are made of plastic, they’re see through and they stick together. Different denominations are colour coded and have our queen on. Everyone tells you you can put them through the wash but you shouldn’t put them in the drier. When it gets really cold they can crack and break.

• There are lots of TV adverts for medicines and they all end with a list of bad things that might happen if you take them. This would not be confidence inspiring if I was thinking of buying any.
• There are shops selling real fur and no one seems to mind.
• What the price tag says is not what you pay. Sales tax is added at the till. This is confusing and makes you think you’re being overcharged or your maths is worse than you thought until you work it out.