Five thirty in the morning is no time to be getting out of bed. Even less so when you have to run around like an ant being chased by a magnifying glass to get showered, dressed, made up, have breakfast and get out the door by seven. This was what it was like on turnaround day in the summer when we had ship visits. There never seemed to be enough time and I always ended the day exhausted. Nevertheless I’d love to be still doing it now.
24 July 2013
Waiting around for Gigi at silly o’clock in the morning did at least give me time to look around the garden. The first two day lilies have come out and everything looked fresh sparkling with dew. Of course the traffic was terrible. Gail, Gigi and I were stuck for what seemed like forever on the one turnaround when we really needed to be early. This was the shortest turnaround of them all with masses to be done and no time to do it. Before I was even in sight of the ship I was breaking out the headache pills. Not the best of starts.
In the terminal I heard someone asking for Arabella so I went over to introduce myself and see if I could help. It actually turned out to be my first appointment of the day, the mattress man. He was coming on board to collect some faulty mattresses and inspect some others, I had a list of cabins amongst all my paperwork. That was handy. Once I’d talked him through the check in process and where to go I checked in myself.
Time to hit the ground running. Well it would have been had the passengers not been disembarking…very…very…slowly. Until you’ve seen passengers disembark a cruise ship you really don’t know what slow means. Every one of the shallow gangway steps could have been a huge precipice the way they clambered down. I’ve seen grass grow faster.
Eventually there was a gap and I dashed through it, for once with no marketing boxes because I had too much to do to help with those today, every cloud… Then it was all go. Checking reception to make sure all was in place and tidy, taking the new films and magazines to the Cruise Director’s office and meeting with the Chief Houskeeper to check the mattresses were ready to be offloaded, along with the sofas that were going off to be recovered. When the mattress man finally arrived he was in as much of a hurry as I was. Instead of the three or four mattresses I’d been told he’d want to inspect, he was satisfied with just the one and was soon on his way with the offloaded mattresses. Time for me to do the walk around then.
While I was on my quick whiz round the library checking everything was straight and tidy and changing over the magazines I bumped into Gigi, Gail and the marketing team from Head Office. They were on a whistle stop tour before all the visitors arrived and I joined them because, once they’d finished, I’d be helping put the gift bags out in the restaurant.
For the visitor tours the housekeeping team prepare a number of cabins of each type before they begin their normal turnaround day cleaning. These are the show cabins and each one has a large sign outside to tell the tour leaders they are empty and cleaned. Of course, at this point in the proceedings the show cabin signs had not been pinned up and, of course, the marketing team wanted to see a cabin. One had to be picked at random and we explained it may not have been cleaned yet. What we didn’t count on was picking one of only twelve cabins on board occupied by passengers on back to back cruises. I mean, what are the odds? The passenger in question was in the bathroom right inside the door! Apologies were made and we all scampered off with rather red faces and a fair bit of giggling.
The Cruise Director caught me on the stairs and said Arabella was in the pool bar having a coffee with the Chairman’s PA and wanted me to join her. This was a doubled edged sword, I’d get a coffee but I’d have less time for everything else. Still, I had been summoned. It was nice to meet another PA. While Arabella went off to check something we had a kind of PA bonding session. Then, when my counterpart PA went off to use the loo, Arabella leaned across and whispered, “She’s not as well turned out as you.” My black pinstripe skirt and crisp white blouse had obviously earned Arabella a few brownie points.
When Arabella and the Chairman’s PA went off to their meeting I rushed off for a belated walk around. This involved touring all the public areas of the ship checking there were no chairs out of place, all the tables were clean, the flowers were fresh and a host of other things. The list was long and time was short. There was a lot of dashing up and down stairs.
Finally finished I went up to the observation lounge for the briefing, meeting the harpist manhandling her harp into the lift on the way. I have to confess I joined her in the lift instead of taking the healthy, stairs, option. In my defence, I had been running up and down stairs all morning.
Waiting in the observation lounge for all the visitors to arrive I noticed today’s especially eye catching floral displays. Towering, rather architectural arrangements featuring twisted copper wire and bird of paradise flowers. These flowers hold some very special memories for me. One of the groups I led on an educational trip to Madeira presented me with with a huge bunch of them on our last day. They grow all over the Island and are such striking blooms. Somehow I managed to get them home on the flight and they were in pride of place on my kitchen table for many weeks. They made me smile every time I walked past.
Something else that was especially nice today was something I never normally sample. There are little dishes of hand made crisps and jars of nuts on the tables and the bars. Crisps are something I very rarely eat, although this wasn’t always the case, possible how I became the size I did or at least a contributing factor. For some reason I tried one of the crisps today. I really have no idea what made me do it and I really wish I hadn’t. They were smoked paprika flavour and so amazing that, once I’d started, I couldn’t stop. This is not a good thing! Thank goodness there was a lot of running up and down stairs ahead.
Before the ship visitors arrived I managed to sneak in a nice cool glass of water and a trip to the loo. Then it was time to wait and see what fate had in store for us. Until they arrive, you never know quite what you’re going to get with ship visitors. They come in all shapes, sizes and levels of fitness and there’s a lot of walking involved in a tour of the ship. My role in the proceedings was to tag along with any who were elderly and infirm, help them use the lifts and, if necessary, take them to just the areas they wanted to see and then find them somewhere to sit.
When the first group arrived it was obvious my services weren’t required so I waited for the second wave. These must have been the youngest, fittest visitors we’ve had yet. In the end I just walked around checking no stragglers had got lost, generally smiling a lot and answering the odd question. After a little chat with the cocktail pianist, who is surprisingly good at playing and talking at the same time, I made my way to the restaurant.
The penultimate part of my job for the day was to host a table. This involves joining a group of visitors for lunch, making conversation, and eating lunch if I can fit that in between answering questions. Usually I’m with a group of special visitors, new entertainers, suppliers and such. Today I was with prospective passengers so I had to add gently persuading them to book a cruise to my repertoire.
There were three couples on my table, two had travelled with us in the past so that was a good start. They more or less ganged up on the other couple, telling them they’d be mad not to book and answering more questions than I ever could. The lady sitting next to me told me she was eighty, there was no need to feign surprise, she didn’t look a day over sixty, she was also quite the raconteur.
Her last cruise was one of our Indian tours and she had us in stitches. Apparently, on a jungle visit she got up close and personal with some elephants, one a tiny baby (tiny in elephant terms anyway). The baby elephant took quite a shine to her and, while she waited for her husband to take her photo, the cheeky thing reached out his trunk and groped her boob. Not only was the whole thing captured on film for prosterity, but she ended up with a wonderful elephant trunk print on her t-shirt.
The other cruise veterans were also past the first flush of youth. Not to be outdone, they shared a few of their own cruise stories. These were less comical but I could see the eyes of the third couple widen when they described standing on deck watching the Aurora Borealis on their Icelandic trip.
“How many times have you and your husband travelled with us?” I asked.
“Oh, he’s not my husband,” the elderly lady replied. “I’ve just been sleeping with him for the last twenty five years.”
Most of my meal, lovely as it was, remained uneaten. I had a few bites of the melon starter and about a third of the beef wellington. When desert arrived there was no way I was going to leave any though. It was a tiny pot of amaretto soufflé. It smelled mouthwatering. Then the waiter returned and, with a flourish, punctured the centre and poured in the most heavenly custard I have ever tasted. To think, I almost chose the raspberry torte.
Arabella did join us, briefly, eating about three bites of her main course before she had to dash off again. She really doesn’t eat enough or sit down enough for that matter. At least the wonderful food meant I didn’t have to worry so much about the conversation.
The final part of my job was the hardest. Once the plates were cleared everyone wanted to linger and chat, I had to put a stop to that because we had to get everyone off the ship before the new passengers arrived. Luckily, Arabella had shared her patented, hurrying along without appearing to, tricks. I’m not giving the game away but it works quite well. Of course it wasn’t just my table I had to deal with. I had to go around every table, introduce myself, make a little small talk and do the same thing all over again. Once the first guests started to depart it did get easier.
Arabella had another round of meetings lined up for the afternoon so I was free to leave with Gigi and Gail before the embarkation madness began. There was just time to meet one of my lovely artists, the one who sent me the quirky cat postcard, and then it was back to hefting marketing boxes. It wouldn’t be a ship visit without some marketing boxes after all.
For Gigi this was her last ever turnaround day. Leaving the ship was quite emotional. It’s been the focus of her life for more than four years. None of us want her to go. She doesn’t want to go. Far be it for me to question decisions from on high but I, for one, don’t see the sense in it.
Back in Southampton, after dropping all the marketing boxes into the office, we retired to the pub. This is not a normal turnaround day event but this was not a normal turnaround day. We chewed the fat for some time. Gigi told us all about her new venture, marketing for a new company specialising in bespoke house finding services. A bit of a departure but I’m sure, with Gigi doing the marketing, it will be a huge success.
Now I’m shattered. Two very early mornings in a row and a lot of running up and down stairs mean I’m too tired to even eat my dinner. Think I’ll go off to bed.