The end of an era – first published August 18, 2012

The Mad House experience was well and truly over. The last call had been taken the last sale had been made, the last person had gone through the turnstile and swiped their card for the very last time. The Mad House building was officially closed for good. No more stats, no wrap time or call length, no more side by sides or QA forms. We’d all said goodbye to morning ‘cuddle’ and Tuesday afternoon team talk at the pub, briefings, system crashes, team nights out and Thursday afternoon fire alarm checks. There was just one more thing to do…

August 18 2012

Originally I’d been planning to walk over to town but, because I was running a bit late, I decided to get the bus in the end. So, all done up in my going out clothes, I stood at the bus stop and waited. Then I waited some more. Buses seemed to be in short supply. Then my phone rang.
“Are you standing at a bus stop?” it was Jolie, who used to be my boss years ago when I worked with Mac.
“Yes?”
“Are you wearing a red dress?”
“Yes.”
“I thought it was you. I just drove past.”
“Oh,” what the ***** are you telling me that for? Obviously I didn’t say the last part. At least I don’t think I did.
“I was in the white Merc. Did you see me?”
“Um, no,” would it have made any difference?
“You look very nice. Are you going out?”
“Yes. Um, thanks,” I would be if you’d stopped and given me a lift.
“Are you waiting for a bus?”
“Yes,” what the hell do you think I’m doing, auditioning for a job as a lamp post?
“Are you going into town?”
“Yes,” because that’s the only place the buses from here go to.
“Oh, I could have given you a lift.”
“Mmm, never mind,” what the **** did you call me for, to gloat?

I carried on waiting. Feeling slightly more fed up about the lack of buses than I did before Jolie called me. I guess she meant well. No buses came. I began to wonder if there was a big black hole swallowing them up somewhere up the road out of sight. If I’d walked, I’d have been there buying my first drink. Just as I was thinking quite seriously about going home and forgetting the whole thing a taxi pulled up and the passenger door opened. Out poked a little bearded head, it was Aiden, The Mad House hot head, always in trouble, always controversial, looks like he belongs outside with the tramps but actually a really nice bloke.
“You going to the pub?”
“Yes!”
“Hop in then.”
Now that’s how you’re supposed to do it. Aiden to the rescue. He wouldn’t even accept half the taxi fare bless his little heart.

We pulled up outside the pub at exactly the same time as Panda and Ruby walked round the corner. There were lots of hugs and kisses. The pub was heaving. It felt like everyone who had ever worked at Mad House was there, plus a few more who just happened to be passing and wanted to get in on the act. It took ages just to get to the bar because everyone wanted to greet us like long lost relatives, even though most of them had seen us the night before in the same pub for Mad House leaving drinks part one, or in the case of Panda and Ruby at work a few hours before. We hugged our way to the bar.

Eventually, drinks in hand, we were passed, literally from one set of arms to the next, out to the beer garden. I’m sure I was embraced and kissed by a few complete strangers along the way and certainly by several people I’ve seen about the building but never actually spoken to. We managed to find a table, goodness knows how as the place was packed out, and took it over quick smart before someone else beat us to it. Coconut Boy squeezed in with us and we were soon joined by an ex team member who also happens to be Coconut Boy’s cousin, Talwar, known to all as Tallie, Billie, who recently joined our floor, and her friend, Clair.

Somehow we all squashed ourselves onto one little picnic table. I’m surprised it didn’t break with our combined weight as none of us are actually small. Then the shots started coming thick and fast, to cries of tequila, tequila. I hate tequila so left mine on the table and carried on drinking my rum and diet coke. No one noticed, although I think Panda hoovered up the extra shot eventually.

As the evening wore on and the shots flowed freely it began to get dark in the beer garden. Random faces appeared out of the gloom to chat at our table and most of the talk was about interviews or new jobs. The Boss Lady arrived just as someone inside noticed the gloom and turned the garden lights on. She appeared with a halo of light behind her while we were still blinking and trying to adjust our eyes to the too bright spotlights that lit patches of the beer garden more than was comfortable while leaving the rest in almost complete darkness. I actually had to put my sunglasses on because I was sitting in the direct line of fire. Boss Lady had her friend Sal with her and they were both wearing t-shirts they’d had specially printed with RIP to The Madhouse and the dates on. Poor taste, probably, funny, yes.

When the action moved on to a nearby night club it was my cue to leave so I called Commando to come and pick me up. At least he knew the way home, unlike the useless taxi driver I’d used after Mad House leaving drinks part one. Then I’d been unlucky enough to get a Polish taxi driver. It’s not that I’m against the Polish you understand but I do prefer my taxi drivers to have some vague knowledge of the city. This one had no idea. I told him where I wanted to go and he said, “Where is that please?” When I began to give him directions it became apparent he didn’t know anywhere in the city. Every road or landmark I mentioned he said, “Is that near …?” mentioning some totally unrelated place. Then he got out a map, WHILE HE WAS DRIVING! In the end I had to direct him as he drove. Lucky I wasn’t drunk and my house is more or less in a straight line from the city centre. Needless to say I didn’t give him a tip.

I didn’t say goodbye to anyone, except Panda who stood outside with me waiting for Mattie Matiz to turn up, but I’m pretty sure no one noticed I’d left. With the amount of alcohol consumed, including the free sours shots supplied by the nightclub when we arrived (yuck, I didn’t even think about it, just passed mine straight to Panda) I’m thinking there are going to be some class A hangovers today. All in all it was a fitting end to a bittersweet era.