The first weekend in November 2013 was a lost weekend for me. Coughing left me so tired and drained I couldn’t quite work up the energy for anything but the basics, a bit of food shopping, cooking, essential cleaning and then sitting around reading my kindle. I could hear the Guy Fawkes weekend fireworks going on outside but I didn’t even bother to go out to see them. Uncharacteristically Commando had forgotten to get any, usually he and CJ are out there indulging their pyromaniac tendencies. The coughing made my throat even sorer and sleeping at night was tough. I ended up downstairs on the sofa so as not to keep Commando awake.
4 November 2013
Last I had a horrible tangled dream. It was very involved and confused, most of it has drifted away in the light of day but some images remain. Walking with CJ, behind us a dark, shadowy hooded figure oozing malevolence. Urging him to hurry. The sky above dark, the air cold, but ahead a patch of sunlight, half running towards it away from the darkness and the following figure, afraid to see its face. Stepping into the light and floating, weightless with a feeling a relief and freedom as the ground passed fast below. Still, I don’t think I was coughing as much.
Now it’s Monday and I’m still coughing, still tired and would rather just sit around reading the kindle than sit in an office working. With a finite number of days left to work, and therefore get paid, I daren’t take time off sick though. Plus I’m waiting for a phone call from the cruise company. All this and a wet cold start to the morning was tending to make me feel more than a little down in the dumps which is not really like me so I decided to make a concerted effort to look for little things to make me smile. This might have been slightly easier if it hadn’t been raining and I hadn’t felt like death warmed up, then there’d have been a walk to work and far more in the way of things to see. Still, this is supposed to be about positive attitude so I’ll quit the whining now.
The first thing that caught my eye was a sparse sprinkling of purple flowers on the lavender bush, just the odd petal here and there on spikes that have otherwise gone to seed. Better still, as I bent to take a picture I accidentally brushed the bush and caught a whaft of the delicate scent. By the time I got off the bus the rain had stopped and I strolled through the Enchanted Park enjoying the different colours and textures of the leaves. The silver birch was glorious, making a bright fringe across the path that put me in mind of wisteria. Looking directly up into the branches was like looking through a curtain of golden rain or a Monet painting.
Here and there the odd flower competed with the autumn leaves. One or two pale pink hydrangea flowers are making a last stand against the wind and the cold, some speckled with age, others trying to out do the fallen leaves with their delicate colours.
Further along a lone seagull sat on a moss covered stone surrounded by fallen leaves watching passers by. The greenery of the park was reflected in the windows of the buildings. On I went, down the long avenue of trees whose branches look more bare every day. The grey sky filled with swirling clouds made an atmospheric backdrop and the sun shone on the still wet paths and leaves.
By the time I got inside and up to the fourteenth floor the sun was out and the sky was blue filled with fluffy white clouds. Looking out of the window at the ships in the port, the trees dotted amongst the buildings wearing their autumn colours it was a picture postcard view. I’m making the most of the views from those windows while I get the chance.
In between answering emails and a mad rush of phone calls I did a little personal job hunting on line just in case the news I get from the cruise company isn’t good. Always best to hedge your bets I think. There are a few interesting looking jobs at the university so I’m working my way through those. The next time I looked out the window the sun was beginning to go down, washing the docks with gold and turning puddles on the rooftops into molten copper. After that I kept going back at regular intervals to watch to colour draining out of the city and into the sky. Just before I left for the day the last rays were dipping under the horizon. A seagull flew past and I to my photo.
The lift seemed to take an age to arrive so I passed the time looking out of a different window. The city lights were twinkling below and I could see glimpses of domesticity through the windows of the flats opposite, in one room a tv stood out, a spot of electric blue in a twilight world. Two huge ships were leaving port so brightly lit it must be like day on board. I snapped a photo and wondered where those ships were off to and what it must be like to be on board?
The final spot of brightness came as I crossed the road on my way towards St Mary’s Church. For a moment I thought I felt rain in the air but, when I looked up, I saw it was the wind catching the mist of enormous water jets playing on the building site to keep the dust down. I took a photo, not expecting much from it in the low light. When I looked at it in the iPad though it was bright with colour, red from brake lights and gold from the street lights and the windows in the tall office block beyond. The water jet arced up into the dusky blue sky and the digger, like a mechanical animal was silhouetted munching away at the remains of the old shopping mall.
Looking back at the photo story of my day it seems, even in the bleakest and darkest of times, there is always a hidden beauty if you look hard enough.