Thieves, Vandals and a definitive answer

11 August 2016

The Vandals were an East Germanic tribe who are believed to have migrated from Southern Scandinavia during the second century BC. They moved around Europe establishing kingdoms and were, reputedly, barbarians who sacked and looted as they went. They gave their name to vandalism, or senseless destruction, particularly defacing artwork. Sadly, there are modern day vandals roaming around the city of Southampton. Some of them are also thieves. Not only have several of our lovely zebras been damaged, one has actually been stolen. This added a sense of urgency to our zebra hunting and today, while Commando went for his X-ray, we went to visit as many as we could while they were still there. 

We had a plan and it began with a walk to the football stadium. This route always reminds me of my old walks to work when I worked at Silver Helm, with the industry along the river to my left and the rising sun glinting on the glass of the stadium front. Today there wasn’t much in the way of sun, just a cloudscape reflected in the windows along with the machines of the cement works across the road.

St Mary’s Stadium is a real landmark in the city, from the Itchen Bridge it looks like a giant white spider crouched on the waterside. It’s hard to believe it wasn’t always there. The Saints used to play at The Dell, on the other side of the city between Archers Road and Milton Road. The first matches I went to were there. It was small and cramped, with no room for expansion and very few facilities but we loved it all the same.

For years there had been talk of a new stadium and, for a while, it looked like it would be outside the city in South Stoneham. In the end though it was built on the disused gas works site at Northam, within sight of St Mary’s Church. When it opened in August 2001 it was a home coming for the Saints as they began life at St Mary’s Church on 21 November 1885 as the St. Mary’s Church of England Young Men’s Association football team.

It didn’t take us long to find Mary, the zebra sponsored by Southampton football club and painted by Laura Schillemore. She was standing outside the ticket office resplendent in her red and white striped Saints shirt and black shorts with the number 7 on her back, just like Saints legend Matt LeTissier. We walked slowly around her looking at the empty gasometer behind her and the stadium in front, then we ticked her off our list and patted her for luck before heading towards town.

The next part of the plan was to look at the spot where Ticket to Ride used to stand. Sadly, the zebra sponsored by First Bus who stood near the bus terminus in Pound Tree Road was ripped from its plinth and stolen at some point between Saturday night and Sunday morning. The beautiful zebra, painted with red buses driving along city roads was painted by Cara Sandys and I am sure she is devastated. Apparently a person was seen carrying the five foot by six foot zebra towards the River Itchen but, despite a search, it hasn’t been found. At the same time another zebra, Skittles, was torn from its plinth near the bandstand in Palmerston Park. Luckily it was found in some bushes in Houndwell Park.

It beggars belief that people would damage or steal these lovely sculptures, especially as they’re due to be auctioned off for charity when the trail ends. In a city filled to the brim with CCTV cameras, I can only hope the police catch up with the idiots who are doing this. If it was up to me I’d set up some stocks outside the Bargate, just like they used to do in medieval times, and let the people of the city throw rotten fruit at them. It would make me feel better anyway and maybe a little public humiliation would act as a deterrent to other idiots.

The plinth where Chis Cross used to stand at the top of the precinct was still empty. It was disappointing but, when we looked a little closer, we saw a notice telling us he’d been repaired and was now in the Marlands shopping centre.
“Shall we go and see him?” CJ asked.
“Let’s leave him for another day because there are lots of zebras in the Marlands and I’m pretty sure they’ll be safe in there. I think we should concentrate on the outside zebras. There’s one special one I want to see today before someone steals or damages it.”

Our quest for the special zebra took us towards Guildhall Square. It was my first view of the new arts complex on the old Tyrrell and Green site, at least from the front. It’s called Studio 144 and will house theatre company Nuffield, the John Hansard art gallery and City Eye, promoter of film and video culture. There are also fancy apartments, restaurants and cafes. I quite liked the look of it but CJ wasn’t keen on the blocks of lighter brick on the facade.

A new walkway has also been opened. Called Guildhall Place, it replaces the covered passageway that used to run beneath the huge Tyrrell and Green department store. This was where we found our next zebra, Zebbie Go Round, painted by Lucy McLoughlin and sponsored by property group Grosvenor, who were responsible for the new walkway and the buildings.

Poor Zebbie Go Round had a notice pinned to her face warning of wet paint. Obviously this was yet another vandalised zebra. We walked slowly around her without touching and admired the merry go round zebras and bright colours on her fresh paintwork.

Across the road in Guildhall Square we found Fantastic Mr Fox, sponsored by Nuffield and painted by Deven Bhurke. This wonderful foxy zebra celebrates Rhold Dhal’s hundredth anniversary and the Nuffield’s production of Fantastic Mr Fox. Rhold Dhal was one of CJ’s favourite childhood authors so he was delighted by Mr Fox and I loved his purple jacket and blue spotty cravat.

Across the square we spotted Who’s You, the zebra sponsored by Southampton City Council. Denise Hughes did a wonderful job of painting him with city landmarks and Southampton citizens. I was especially taken with the Spitfire on his ear and the ship, maybe the Mayflower, on his nose.

We walked slowly around him looking at all the faces. On his right side we found the Itchen Bridge and the Civic Centre clock tower. Behind him the real clock tower was just visible peeking over the top of the Guildhall. He was standing in front of the Momento brasserie. This made CJ think of his stomach.
“Are we going to stop for coffee?” he asked.
It sounded like a plan but, while I was looking around trying to decide between all the places to get coffee nearby, my phone rang. It was Commando, ringing from the hospital.

“Is the X-ray done?” I asked.
“Yes and it’s broken,” he said. “They said it was my fibula, just above the ankle and its displaced. They wanted to put it in plaster.”
“Displaced! That sounds like a real fracture not a stress fracture then,” I said, my mind racing. “How are you going to get home if it’s in plaster?” CJ and I would have to get a bus up there so I could drive him back.
“They didn’t put it in plaster in the end because they said it was healing.”
“I should think so after six weeks! So much for that doctor at the Southants then, the one who said he’d stake his medical reputation it wasn’t broken and refused to X-ray it.”
“Exactly. Thanks to him and the GP I’ve been walking around with a broken leg for the last six weeks.”
“So what do you have to do now?”
“I’m not sure. They’re going to send the X-ray report to our GP. They wouldn’t give me a copy to take to the physio but they said the Doctor would give me one if I asked. It feels like I’m never going to be able to run again.”
Understandably, he sounded really down about the whole thing. “Do you want me to come home now?” I asked, knowing I couldn’t really do anything to make it better but I could at least try to cheer him up.
“No, just carry on with your zebra hunting. I’ll be Ok.”
Feeling worried and fairly shocked, we wandered into the Atrisan cafe on the other side of Guildhall Square.

“He said not to come home,” I told CJ as we sat at a table overlooking the square with our coffee and some tasty looking rocky road cakes I’d bought as a remedy for shock. “Part of me wants to ignore him though.”
“He’ll be cross if you do,” CJ said. “He probably just wants to be left alone. It isn’t as if you can actually do anything after all.”
“I’m quite cross myself,” I said. “All this time he’s had a broken leg and no one would take him seriously. I’d like to get hold of that doctor at the Southants and give him a piece of my mind. Medical reputation my arse.”
“Dad should make an official complaint about him.”
“I know, but he won’t. It probably wouldn’t do any good anyway. At least they said it’s healing so hopefully walking about on it hasn’t done any permanent damage.”

We didn’t linger too long in Guildhall square. Despite what Commando and CJ said I really wanted to go home even though I knew there was little I could do. We were so close to the special zebra at this point though, I knew it would be foolish not to at least go and visit him so, when we’d finished our coffee and cakes, we set off towards the parks.

The zebra I really didn’t want to miss was on the corner of Above Bar and Commercial Road opposite the entrance to Watts Park. The junction has two zebra crossings at right angles to each other and this zebra is a celebration of them. His name is Zebby Road and he also celebrates an iconic album cover. Thankfully he was still there, undamaged.

When we were waiting by the Bargate for the zebra parade I accidentally took a photograph that put me in mind of the Beatles Abbey Road album cover. This zebra, sponsored by Ray Hole Architects and painted by Jenny Leonard, actually features it. Zebby Road has a zebra crossing on his stomach and four Beatles walking across it. It was perfectly executed and we stood for some time admiring it.

“Wasn’t there supposed to be a secret message in the photo?” CJ asked. “Something about one of the Beatles being dead?”
“There were masses of conspiracy theories surrounding them back in the day, and that album cover had more than its fair share,” I said. “There was a rumor going round that Paul had died in a car accident and been replaced by a look alike. The album cover was, supposedly a secret message to true fans. Apparently, the fact that Paul wasn’t wearing shoes and was out of step with the other Beatles meant he was dead. He was also holding a cigarette in his right hand, although he’s left handed. It was airbrushed out if more recent copies of the album because of the anti smoking thing but it was supposed to represent a coffin nail. There was loads more, like John being dressed in white but it was all a load of rubbish, as these things mostly are. ”
“It’s ironic that Paul is one of the two surviving Beatles really then,” CJ said.
“I suppose it is.”

Opposite Zebby Road is one of the few buildings in Above Bar Street that survived the Second World War. Once known as Prospect Place, the row of buildings included Prospect House built in the mid eighteenth century and a castellated gateway known as Ellyet’s Folly after a Portsea merchant who lived there. Bombs took care of most of the buildings and Prospect House was demolished in 1963 but Tudor Buildings remain to this day, looking incongruous amonst all the modern shop fronts. In actual fact the building is not as old as it appears, it was built in the 1930’s in the Tudor style. Even so, I’m glad it survived.

Originally I’d planned to visit the baby zebras in the art gallery, library and maybe Sea City Museum after we’d seen Zebby Road. It seemed sensible while we were in the area. The news about Commando’s ankle had thrown me a little though and, what I really wanted to do was go home. It was decision time again.

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